A couple weekends ago, I was leaving Trader Joe’s. For those of you who live in Charlotte, you know it’s extra busy this time of year.
I’d come from deep stretch yoga, so I was feelin’ fine. I was really in tune with the energy around me, and I could feel people’s rushed, chaotic experience.
This got me thinking about how we approach the holidays.
What if we ditched the nice-to-haves of the holidays and instead focused on the have-to-haves? And what are those?
Oftentimes, we focus on the nice-to-haves and the have-to-haves at the same time. That’s a set-up for us to feel like we’re not perfect.
Maybe a Christmas tree is your have-to-have, end of story.
Baking cookies is my nice-to-have, so that goes by the wayside. If it’s your have-to-have, make your family of gingerbread people ASAP.
This year, I didn’t do a tree because my cats, well, peed on it last year. I decorated my plants so I can use my favorite ornaments and not deal with the stress of my cats having their way with my tree.
As a general rule, we should have less holiday party and more holiday self-care. Especially for entrepreneurs, the holiday season is often the only opportunity we take down time.
If there’s no pause in sight, we have to put the boundary in.
If we go to every holiday party with no energy and out of obligation, we’re not actually showing up. We’re present only in body.
I did that over the weekend: There was a party I really wanted to go to, but with everything I’m up to, it was clear it wasn’t what I needed.
This was a great opportunity for saying no. And there’s a whole lot of opportunities to practice saying no over the holiday season.
Do you want to be everywhere at half-throttle, or do you want to be selective and show up in your being and essence and have a great time?
I’m going to choose full-throttle being and essence all year, every year.
Now, if you have kids and are wondering, “But I have to wait in that long line to see Santa at SouthPark Mall,” here’s something to think about: You’re creating a pattern of behavior your children will mimic when they’re adults. You’re starting to set up an experience for Christmas that your kids are going to try and live up to for their whole lives.
Instead, this could be a beautiful teaching moment to show your kids they don’t have to buy into the obligation story of Christmas. You can save them from stringing garland on every part of their house as adults.
(And on a related note: If you’re a mom and need some R&R time after the holidays, look no further than Sarah Olin’s Luscious Mother Retreat, a full weekend of self-care. Learn more here. Trust me, she’s a marvel.)
Why do we even slug through the holidays at all? It usually comes down to the brain pattern, also called a story or a mindset.
Most of the ways we’re living our life is not on our own terms; it’s because we think we have to do it this way, because that’s how everyone else does it. That starts to create a pattern in the brain when we’re children and into adulthood.
For many of us, the holidays can be a disempowering time of year because the pattern is running the show and we’re not actually creating a holiday we want to create. What if we could practice getting a more glorious holiday every year?
Bottom line for you to nix the holiday stress:
1) Focus on the have-to-haves (hello, gingerbread family)
2) Ditch the nice-to-haves (buh-bye, tree)
3) Say yes to saying no more often (more Netflix time)
Got it? Now let me get back to hanging lights on my Croton Bush and its friends (which you can see in the picture above).
