Recently, one of my dear friends contacted me about coaching. She is an amazing powerhouse of a woman who is getting ready to make some major career and geographic changes in her life. She has witnessed how coaching has turned me into an unstoppable love being, and wants some for herself. We are too close to work together, so she asked for my guidance in helping her choose wisely.
As our conversation progressed, I decided that I wanted to share this with all of you because working with the right person is SO important. Some of what I say may be similar to what other sources say and some may be totally different. The stand I take comes from my personal values, my training, my experience coaching, and my experience being coached.
Here is what I’ve come up with:
Does the coach offer a sample session?
Prior to my clients committing to work with me, I offer a complimentary sample session. This is not because I don’t value my time; it’s the exact opposite. Just as my potential client is deciding if I’m right for them, I’m deciding if they are right for me. During a sample session, the person has the opportunity to bring a coaching request to the conversation. The request is generated by looking at an area of life where the person is committed to moving forward. I coach to the request made. Whether the person decides to hire me or not, at least, they are deciding from an empowered place.
What approach does the coach use?
Of course, I’m privy the the type of coaching I do or I wouldn’t have been trained in it. However, nothing is absolute. I take an ontological approach because it’s holistic. We are not just our jobs, our emotions, our relationships, etc. We are humans made up of may facets. Ontological work focuses on transformation rather than change. Change is more like a band-aid, and we all know what happens to band-aids. I coach to the being that drives the action, not just the action. How are you being? How do you show up? I also blend in a facilitative component because that’s how we get stuff done. The client comes with goals (projects), and we create altitude to determine the real “what for”. Once we establish this, we work from the future vision backwards. We create milestones for each project, and we attach actions to the milestones. And, don’t forget the rewards (celebration) we attach to all we create. There’s nothing like incorporating more celebration to break up the daily bump and grind! As people work on big stuff there are bumping up against their survival mechanism a lot, and this is where the coaching comes in. Getting us out of our busy little minds is a necessity.
What kind of time commitment is the coach asking for?
When I started doing this work, I had a 4 month minimum contract. I just upped this to 5 months. We created our ways of being (patterns) a long time ago, and we don’t interrupt them overnight. I noticed clients who completed at 4 months where really only in the space of getting to know their survival mechanism and getting taken out by it less and less. People who continue on with coaching move to a new level. The conversation shifts from managing survival to full on possibility. This is where we rock our worlds!
How often do you and the coach have sessions?
I have 4 weekly sessions per month because it takes consistency to transform. When we are rubbing up against our comfort zones, we need regular support so we don’t default back to old patterns.
Does the coach give weekly practice areas/action items?
Real life is where the work happens. Things to take on in between sessions is how the projects move forward. My clients and I co-create these things together. The goal for me is to always break up the seriousness of life and inject fun into it!
Is your coach available for (reasonable) support in between sessions?
Obviously, I don’t allow my clients to call in need of support every day, but I do offer phone, email, and text support in between sessions. Why? If the life in between sessions is where the work happens, my clients may need some support as they are taking swings at thinking, saying, and doing the bold thing.
How much does the coach cost?
Many coaches don’t charge what they’re worth. To make a living standing for the greatness of humans requires the space to take exquisite care of oneself – this means not charging so little you have to coach 30 humans a week. I charge what I’m worth, and would never hire anyone who didn’t. I want a coach who has worked out their money story and self worth issues so they don’t project them onto me.
Does the coach have a coach?
I work with a coach who follows the same guidelines I do. I would never dream of working with a coach who didn’t have their own coach. I’m committed to constantly re-inventing what doesn’t work to be a model of what life by design is. Coaches who have coaches know the power of the work, and consider it to be mandatory to be held to their greatness at all times.
Is the coach certified?
My coach is not because not everyone works well with the International Coach Federation (ICF) standardization. My coach finds this limits his authenticity. I am working towards it because it is integrity with my values. I see a lot of unqualified coaches coaching, and this provides a level of standardization in a, relatively, new field. Cool tidbit – Tony Robbins rocks the house with his coaching, right?!? He would not pass the ICF tests. With that being said, don’t overstep it, but don’t get caught in it either.
Where did the coach get training?
SO important! Not all coaches training programs are created equal. There are coaches out there calling themselves coaches who have no training at all . I could go on about this, and will probably write a blog about it, but for now – YUCK! There are some who did an online weekend program – yikes! Then, there are the best you can get. Harvard if you will. This is what I chose because with my background in psychology, counseling, and therapy – I know how much we need to honor the work we do with humans. My program was 12 months. I flew to Chicago the 2nd weekend of the month for face to face training. I worked with a coach they gave me for the entire year. I was on a team of other coaches in training, and we supported each other. I loved the program so much that I’m now a mentor coach for them, and continue to make the monthly trek to Chicago to be with tribe.
Does the coach live a full happy life?
Do you want to work with someone who isn’t modeling the work? NO! This doesn’t mean their life is perfect. It means they are committed to constantly do whatever it takes to have a life by design. They are playing the game, and getting messy along the way.
Please, don’t hesitate to contact me if you need any support choosing wisely. Even if you don’t choose me, I’m committed to you working with the perfect coach for you.
