First of all, let me be clear — I love being an entrepreneur, and I wouldn’t have it any other way; it works for me as well as anything ever will, vocationally speaking.
With that being said, I think it’s important to share that entrepreneurship comes with its own set of challenges, and vacation is one of mine.
Lately, I’ve been all over social media sharing about the fun trips I’ve been on, and while they have been a blast, they’ve also brought up some of my stuff.
Because I’m committed to authenticity, I thought I’d share with you a little of the underbelly of my entrepreneur life. After all, if we all we talk about are the perks, we create unrealistic expectations for ourselves and others.
From a young age, the good ‘ole Puritan work ethic was modeled to me as the way to make things happen.
And, it worked. Until it didn’t.
This hyper masculine way of working created the belief system of:
- Work really, really really hard
- Responsibility = hard work
- I always have to be doing something.
- Worry, worry, worry
- What I do is more important than who I AM.
- There isn’t enough for everyone, so be the best while I’m working hard.
- ETC
Needless to say, in order to be a successful entrepreneur and have some delight in the process, I’ve had to do a lot of work around this.
For me, having a coach is non-negotiable.
Prior to my Memorial Day weekend getaway, I worked with my coach around some undistinguished anxiety that was coming up. I got clear on what was in my space, how I wanted this vacation to go, what I thought was in the way of it, From there, we co-created some actions to support me while away.
Mission accomplished! I had a great trip!
What I wasn’t prepared for was what came after the trip…
Cue the inner Shitty Committee:
- All the momentum I created before taking time off is gone.
- There aren’t enough clients or money.
- I am a loser.
- I don’t deserve the rest I built in after this trip; it’s time to get back to it.
- What if it all falls apart?
- I don’t deserve to be an entrepreneur if I’m freaking out like this.
This inner dialogue triggered:
- the desire to work really hard to make up for the time “lost”
- a scarcity minset, which made my energy sticky
- disconnection from my self-worth
- powering through vs. listening to my inner wisdom
- feelings of being unsafe
- judgement and shame
It had been a minute since I had taken a vacation where I did zero work, and I’m playing a bigger game, so it was completely predictable that this pattern would show up to try and protect me in its twisted comforts.
How perfect that a week and a half after returning from Detroit I’d get to work on my vacationing patterns at the beach as well as in Maine. 😉
Tomorrow, I’ll be heading home to Charlotte to get ready to fly to Maine on Friday and I’ll be taking on the practice my coach invited me look at – “Have a conversation with yourself leading up to coming home while you’re still in grounded vacation mode. What do you need?”
I’ll take this practice on again as I’m coming back from Maine on Sunday.
When I talk to my coach next week, we’ll look at my wins, so we can celebrate. And, we’ll look at where I got stopped, so I can continue inviting myself to see outside of my default pattern because I’m not planning on slowing down with my adventures any time soon.
Entrepreneurs, today I’m looking at YOU. I’m feeling called to support you in your life and in your biz so you can make more money, have more joy in the process, keep on keepin’ on while replacing detrimental patterns with powerful ones, and love the heck out of yourself through all of it!
With Deep Gratitude From the Beach,
Jenn
