I’m rather astounded, and often frustrated, by the overall lack of self-awareness that most people have in today’s business world. I recall past networking events and being bombarded by various unsavory character traits such as arrogance and servile flattery — And while few of us are willing to offer up the necessary reflections and feedback to each other so that these “negative” character traits do not become too hindering, it begs the question regarding mentoring and how vital it can be in today’s small, medium-sized, and big business atmospheres. Without consistent feedback, most of us are destined to hit certain plateaus and stay on them for months, years, or entire careers and lifetimes.
As a coach, it is my job to say things that no one else will; this is why people hire me — To show them things about themselves they couldn’t see before and to then take them into unknown territories in their lives and businesses by embracing the unknown and setting uncomfortable goals and objectives.
I often enroll perspective clients in the first few minutes of a consultation by summing up their entire lives in a few sentences and then asking them to see what’s possible on the other side of the automatic ways of being that are blocking them from greater success.
I recall a former manager who enrolled in yet another $60,000 worth of graduate school so as to buy and/or ensure his next promotion. I found this amusing because all he really needed was some powerful feedback regarding the way he runs his sales teams; he relies a bit too much on strategies, along with some standard corporate manipulation, which led to predictable, less than phenomenal results in his middle management positions.
This is not earth shattering stuff to look at, nor to choose in the face of. He’s a good guy…a very powerful straight shooter with a heart of gold, but at some point his strategies breakdown and leave him with the same results he has always had. It’s not that the potential isn’t there; it’s just that he’s not open to fully unlocking it. What I mean by this is: that he’s not willing to look at himself in a way that may be uncomfortable and that challenges his mid-western pride.
If he were open, I might ask him “What would asking for help or support make possible?”. In which case, he might answer, “Anything.”, and I would potentially be moving towards working with another amazing client in service of a journey of personal transformation. Tragically, he isn’t open to introspection, so things will move forward as they always have, and my questions will remain unasked; Therefore, unanswered as well.
The purpose of this example is to illustrate that many of us, myself included, navigate the world of business with blinders on. We are unwilling to see certain aspects of ourselves; aspects which could give us access to new choices and decisions.
Different choices, decisions, and actions lead to new and often unpredictable results in our personal and professional lives. This is why I rely on other coaches and mentors to show me the things I am not seeing and to hold me accountable for actions I say I’ll take based on new insights I’ve gained through coaching.
Whenever I am stuck at a certain level, a significant amount of reinvention is necessary to get to the next. This always requires me to look at, and take responsibility for, certain facets of my “being”, to move beyond what’s blocking me and get to the next level altogether.
What do you think is blocking you from taking it to the next level?
*Dave is a professional life and business coach living his dream of coaching awesome humans to “remember who they already are”. When he’s not living his purpose vocationally, you will catch him riding a wave or two (or three or four) in Cali. Dave can be reached by email at: dave@davekehnast.com, through his website: davekehnast.com, or by phone: (630) 303-3735.
