Two years ago, while on a site selection trip to find a location and hotel partner for the LeaderSurf leadership development program, I met Gilles Rusca and his girlfriend Aurelie Dafflon. Gilles and Aurelie are from Switzerland and moved to Nicaragua to run the Buena Onda Beach resort and build a new life for themselves. The Buena Onda Beach Resort sits on the shores of the Pacific Ocean and has the most gorgeous sunsets I’ve ever seen.
Each evening of the trip, my family and I would venture down to the beach to watch the epic sunsets over the Pacific Ocean. Each evening as we enjoyed the sunset, I noticed Gilles and Aurelie were also down on the beach. At dinner one evening, I asked Gilles about the sunset we all watched.
When he moved to Nicaragua, he told me, he committed to doing two things each day for himself:
1) Watch the sunset each day with his wife.
2) Get in the water every day, whether it’s to surf or swim.
Gilles was deliberate in choosing two things to do each and every day for himself. His daily rituals of watching the sunset and getting in the water made me question whether I had my own daily rituals. I struggled to think of any. I questioned my wife about whether she had any and she too struggled.
This was a good point of reflection for me. As an executive coach who helps leaders become more self-aware and find more happiness in their lives, I realized I wasn’t heeding my own advice.
We often fall into the trap of living our lives to meet the expectations of others. We drown in our commitments and leave ourselves with too little time to do things that are important to us. We all need more “me” time, and we must make a conscious effort to carve out time for ourselves.
Here’s a challenge to you for the next two weeks:
Commit to two things you will do every day for yourself. Indulge in the activity and make it a habit. By taking that extra time to meet your personal needs, you’ll become more attentive and patient with the needs of others. The actions you take every day can be simple.
Make a journal entry to capture your reflections.
Call a loved one on the phone.
Walk the dog for 30 minutes.
Read a novel for one hour.
Hug your kids and tell them you love them.
You own the activity. Your goal is to create a daily ritual that fulfills what’s missing in your life. I know of many people who dream of one day living near the beach only to move to a beach town and then never take the time to enjoy the beach. The key is to not feel guilt for taking time for yourself.
Much has been written about servant leadership and being selfless. Through my own personal experience, I’m finding to be a good selfless leader, you need to be a little selfish. Being selfish and selfless can go hand in hand; in fact, it’s a matter of balancing your time and effort.
Since my experience in Nicaragua, my life has changed: I recently returned from my third full LeaderSurf program at the Buena Onda Beach Resort. Gilles and Aurelie have become close friends and business associates over the past two years. As I built the LeaderSurf program, which combines leadership development modules, executive coaching, humanitarian aid, daily surfing lessons and mindfulness, I wanted to incorporate a daily ritual.
The daily ritual which has been a participant favorite is an activity I call Sunset Reflections. Each evening our group of business executives heads down to the beach to watch the sunset. I was pleased to see Gilles and Aurelie on the beach every evening performing their daily ritual as well. Each participant must share their daily sunset reflection.
Remember: Even if your reflection isn’t on a sunset, be sure to capture one key learning from the day. Something you learned about yourself or about the world that you didn’t know when you woke up this morning.
By articulating your learnings for the day, you’re more likely to turn it into future action. We learn new things everyday about ourselves or the world around us, but we need the time to reflect on those learnings. We must be more mindful and take more time for ourselves.
Incorporating a daily ritual and sunset reflection are two ways you can be a more mindful person. You will come to better appreciate the world around you.
To Gilles and Aurelie: Thanks for the life lesson and being such good hosts for the LeaderSurf program in Nicaragua.
About the Author: Brian Formato is the founder and lead facilitator for Leadersurf, an experiential leadership development program combining leadership development, executive coaching, humanitarian aid and daily surfing lessons, learned how rituals can make life more rewarding and enjoyable.
